Friday, June 22, 2018

close to the mirror

finally after what feels like thirteen centuries i've been preparing mirror maze for the last stretch of nonsense so hopefully can publish before i'm dead (2018, maybe 2019....)...though if i continue the joke of referring to it as my thesis, I guess most people get a few years to put theirs together so i shouldn't beat myself up any more than i usually do.... so for sake of sharing this with somethings, here is (tentatively) completed introductory chapter:






//The beauty of the world is the mouth of a labyrinth. The unwary individual who on entering takes a few steps is soon unable to find the opening. Worn out, with nothing to eat or drink, in the dark, separated from his dear ones and from everything he loves and is accustomed to, he walks on without knowing anything or hoping anything, incapable even of discovering whether he is really going forward or merely turning round on the same spot. But the affliction is as nothing compared with the danger threatening him. For if he does not lose courage, if he goes on walking, it is absolutely certain that he will finally arrive in the center of the labyrinth. And there God is waiting to eat him. Later he will go out again, but he will be changed, he will have become different, after being eaten and digested by God. Afterward he will stay near the entrance so that he can gently push all those who come near into the opening.” - Simone Weil, Waiting for God//


//Subtlety grates upon the nerves, yet everything is driven by an immense crudity: death impassions us. Even before crossing over into death I had been excruciated upon my thirst for it. I accept that my case is in some respects aberrant, but what skewers me upon zero is an aberration inextricable from truth. To be parsimonious in one’s love for death is not to understand. - Nick Land, Thirst for Annihilation//


//Verily I tell you that if you have to mourn, you should mourn those who are born, rather than those who die. - Tozen, Series of Reflections//


The open-secret grave is (naturally) in-crypted.

This thing called human has long viewed death as the gross inversion of health and human-ness, a sickly and unbearable price to pay for the “gift” of life, a savage relic of animal nature to be feared, avoided, ignored, covered-up, battled, conquered, transcended... It has always viewed life and death as the purest kind of antithetical - intrinsically and explicitly opposing forces forever and permanently fatal to one another, associated with black and the negative in the white light’s battle for purity - and so has (un)naturally sought to mute the cold voice of our common grave....

As a result of millenia-long fear-driven cultural campaigns to toxify and expel the tomb and all its secrets, we are born into a paradigm that demands unified identity, self-assuredness, conformation, and concrete boundaries as entities that by our very nature flow and flood over these static riverbanks. To attempt stasis in such a river is to embody turbulence in an anxious, desperate, and ultimately vain search for calmer waters...this ship is perpetually sinking into the infinite deep, this arkhé (arché-ark) inevitably capsizes, dragging with it the separation between ship and water. Viewing life and self through the lens of this stasis puts one in danger of coming to equate breaking the rules of one’s given identity with dying.


|A life of perpetual-drowning-as-reality. 
|Of motion-sickness as the world-for-itself.


Thus the western human arkhé-type views the self through the darkened, turbulent mirror of Individual Control, observing a noisy and recalcitrant illusion of mastery that confuses movements of an ephemeral reflection for the concrete action in real time. A virtual prison of mimicry and transfixed hypnotism, the labyrinthine rationalizing of complacency and narcissistic ultraviolence of the life- and gain-obsessed will-to-power aggression culture ensures and entrenches this turbulence while amplifying attempts to contain or expel death’s effects such that gained power may never be relinquished even beyond dying. Death emerges from technocratic transhumanism as ultimate horizon of control: Unconditional accelerationism|radical paranoia|bleak-hole nihilism irrupt as advanced strategies but even (or especially) these have difficulty coping with the wave upon novel wave of pathology that breaks upon the mind as the organ of infinite imagination seems to have as many ways of malfunctioning, as many ways of hiding information, as many ways of covering its tracks, disguising itself...The words of Simon Springer’s ‘I, Dirty Anarchist’ clarify our situation: 


//Only through a politics of division can one conceive of themself as a distinct and disconnected entity. It shouldn’t surprise us then that the rise of the ego has developed alongside the pursuit of both nationalism and capitalism. They are, each one, related distortions that attempt to make sense of the world through a partitioning of the self from all else. Whether expressed as an individual, as a state, or through the process of accumulation, all of these ideas seek to carve out and define what is ‘mine’ from an inalienable connection to the source of all life and what rightfully belongs to the entirety of existence. This ideology of division has recently culminated in the perverse hyper individualism of the present neoliberal moment, a condition of profound hallucinatory separation where the ‘I’ cleans itself of all ethical virtue. We are told to stand alone as obelisks of conceit.// 


This problem is intensified by exponential growth in input streams - a “being-opened” that often decays into a foreclosure, an always-already-closing-off in defense against the constant|cyclic|cyclonic laceration of incoming signal: a closing-off that mirrors the dual concepts of repression and oppression : compulsively pre-emptive strikes on anticipated potentialities. 

People really don't like to consider their own
decomposition,
negation,
deceleration,
death, 
loss, 
destruction, 
implosion.

They certainly don’t wish to work toward these things, and even terrible traits become protected when the self is perceived as static, separate, inviolable.

This defense mechanism amplifies the difficulty of the transformation from being turned inward (the passive nihilism spawned from the insignificance of the self-model in relation to the world-model) to being turned inside-out (the active annihilism of these models and the merging of self with world), adding complexity to this lock, the picking of which is a prerequisite step for the accurate tuning of the singular Will toward interlocking integration with the unity of nature, of non-differentiation between “self” and “reality”. 

The reconfiguration of the isolating and oppressive feedback loop called the individualised ego by skills that are explicitly developed in the twin disciplines of self-destruction and self-construction is the navigation of the titular mirror maze. The realization that every abyss is a mirror and the removal of any mirror reveals a new abyss paves the way for the labyrinth of self-reflection to fall before the demonstration of this interconnecting voidplane behind, beneath, below all things. We invert undeath and nail selves to the cross, double sacrifice to the world-tree. //In darkness and concealment// we refute the original difference between life and death and elaborate possibilities of existence throughout the liminal interzones. 

As the labyrinth represents the self: the inversion, the mirroring, the heresy of this re-alignment manifests in the assertion that there is no exit and we are our own minotaur - fullness is achieved by devout exploration of the extent of the emptiness of the image. 


//”...The organism cannot live the death that gives rise to the difference between life and death.” To which the yogi replies, “Au contraire, Mister. I’m living it right now. So are you if you did but examine yourself.” - Timothy Morton, Thinking the Charnel Ground//


To view the alienated individual as undead opens a necromantic channel of revolution: to view the self and reality as liminal implies a mirror-reversal in ontological priority, a rotation from being to becoming: from the 3 dimensional perspective of a discrete object moving inside time to the “higher” view of process in 4 dimensions. 

This metamorphosis is amplified and accelerated in the black hole of //immanent negativity, any event, be it a singularity or a process, that leads to an increase in entropy, leading, ultimately, to an apotheosis that explicates the givenness of emptiness//, the clarion call of Adam Lovasz’ Non-Oriented Ontology. While he limits his deconstruction to physical and social dissolution and their effects, we propose a speculative method to engage a disconnection of the brain’s self-model from its world-model, “ego death”: a demonstration of the Mors Mystica as the effective mental simulation of death and isomorphic to the Buddhists’ satori: displaying the zero-point of nihilism, the self-shattering truth of the via negativa: the removal, however temporary, of all mirrors, all images; clearing the screen of symbolism reveals the field that underlies the screen and demonstrates how a pendular circuit of deconstruction to augmentation and back attenuates the attention and quiets the verbal mind, setting the stage for profound psychogenic experimentation, exploration, and play.

Delinking from outdated ideologies, undocking from obsolete frames of reference, negating problematic components of personality, engaging a symmetry by renouncing the disconnected self-model and the incomplete world-model: this neuronihilism lies at the junction of time, death, and identity. When we speak of the complete deactivation of the phenomenal self-model, the complete delinking of the default modality of the brain from a position of top-down organization and modulation of bottom-up sensory data, whether or not what we speak of are fictions of the brain in psychosis matters little in an assessment of the image the brain is displaying to the phenomenal self in these moments. 

It is to this end that we view the intersection of the fields of neuroscience, mysticism, art, physics, topology, psychology, semantics, symbolism, mythmaking and metafiction as a single, continuous, natural domain of self-reflective metaknowledge which one may call alchemical. Understanding the alchemical process to be a system for the construction of Philosophic Stone, we follow Gabriel Catren in defining the Stone as 


//...the adamant converging pole of the concrescent operations carried on by a particular process of transmodal philosophical synthesis. The orchestration of a philosophical stone requires an amalgrammation of the local grammars that literalize the diverse modes of thought into a unique grimoire, and the arrangement of the regulative ideas that provide different prismatic orientations in thinking into a single constellation. - Catren, Alchimery//


It may seem like an outrageous statement, to claim to understand even part of the recipe for Philosopher’s Stone, but the true depth of this alchimerical realization lies in the unveiling of its universality - that every artistic construct, every collaborative gesture, every act of translation, every syncretic knotting of thought is an alchemy that responds to alchemical procedures. We hope to demonstrate in this book that many types of constructions can be considered mandalic and alchemical: that every Stone is a temporally persistent artefact of the complete synthesis of one’s self-model with their world-model as a result of a calibration process between inner and outer worlds that produces an artistic “proof-of-work” of satori, and that there exist protogeometric rules that govern this process that align with Jung’s study of mandalas as steganograms of //the state of the self as it was on the day that it was created//.

To step inside the self-reflecting Librarynth is to engage the alchemical process, beginning (and realising oneself to be) the Magnum Opus. To //shatter the image is to break the enemy//, the enemy that is the self-model’s fear of dissolution in the //infinite ocean of god//. 

Blood and bone into the alembic, //ready to sacrifice all vanity and all satisfaction as in the past one burned his furniture and the beams of his roof to feed the furnace of the Great Work//, apply fire and compression until Nigredo-blackened ash of the self and the world are one Diamond Body, sharpening the self against world like blade against whetstone until all that remains is razor sharp, precision Nothingness. 

There are vast amounts of pages devoted to alchemical procedures, but an alliance (and modernisation) of Eastern and Western mysticisms suggest a more direct route than processural and systematic growth upwards. As above, so below - as Virgil guides us, transcendence is not only acceleration outward but can also be a tunnelling downward: the Black Sun that is the squared-circular union of the Solar and its polar Negative is, after all, at the center of the labyrinth, not its exit. One may learn to convert the Nigredo stage directly into the Beatific Vision with no intervening mediation by utilizing the concepts of harmonics and symmetry to develop an intuitional “neuronavigational” system that does not rely on the symbolism of any language, committing the arch-heresy of refuting the need for an intermediary to cover the gap between the human domain and the rhizomatic observer-less god’s-eye view of the world-model. We assert that higher-dimensional instances of phenomenological symmetry are the religious/mystical/psychedelic experiences - the experience all religions are aiming at, and which some regard themselves as gatekeepers of or defenders against. By becoming this process of navigation one tends to quickly recognize the value of creative and persistent attentiveness over any variation of formal completion: the endless impossible task taken up precisely because it is endless and impossible. 

To explore this dissolution of self and begin a sketch on the utilization and analysis of multiple methods for reliably generating the neurological suspension of the default mode brain operations known as the mystical death, we shall first examine the brain networks at work in this deactivation. This will allow us to examine a tradition of ritual intoxication that transtemporally cuts across cultural and geographic boundaries, illuminating several forms of cognitive flattening that are isomorphic to the dissolution of social, neural, and psychological boundaries found in these altered states of consciousness. This reduction of boundary-condition-thresholds across multiple axes renders thought maximally general-> genitive -> generative - driving a pluralized unity : a multiplicative multidentity - the droneswarm flexibly mutating between becoming-One : becoming-Many : becoming-Zero. This radical flattening of the impersonal flood of sense-data and an entity’s material existence blurs reality into an infinitely-smeared, [sub]merged heterarchy of seemingly-conscious pheno(u)mena. Mors Mystica exposes and forces a visualization of the calculatory procedures undertaken by the brain to generate a single subjectivity out of the multiplicity of multifarious and multivalent signals at play on its antennae.

A phenoumenodelic experience - any experience that //involves a shift of the very transcendental structure that renders a transcendent experience possible// - unfurls the full depth of the Mirror Maze out of the hyper-enfolded limitations of the stratified human structure - //transcending transcendence// onto a free field of impersonal experience - the immanent //void-plane of zero-intensity.// In the phenoumenodelic experience, we puncture the “Bouncing Wall” of correlationism, //make a slit in the umbrella [...] tear[ing] open the firmament itself//, and counteract the gravity of unitary consciousness. It is from taking this void-plane transformation as the urgrund that we may learn to engage multiple phenomenological perspectives on the world-model from within the same self-model.

We shall continue this cartographic expedition by engaging in a tracking of representations of this death before death/death-in-life, organizing an illumination of harmonic convergences in art reflecting the death of the body, the death of the mind, and the death of the world by scrying art, literature, Buddhism, and atheology to expose the apophatic keyless lock that opens onto both an infinite Sisyphean scaling of a headless holy-mountain and its simultaneous inverse, Orphic katabasis: the acephalic anti:image of Self/Mind/God/Reality that is >neurologically and ideologically consistent and >consistently non-ideological and extra-neurological. Expansive, imaginative, compassionate and constructive - embodied, enactive, and extended - self-reflective, organic, and algorithmically-constructed, persistent waveform. Mysticism and the interior drive to conceptualise reality as God naturalised in the alchemical furnace that reduces all concepts to geometry in order to drive universal adaptation. //The quest for god is the quest for the ultimate symmetry.//

The Mirror Maze is the multifaceted hyperreflective Philosophical Stone and we become this maze by learning to identify not with the limited, frightened, homesick perspective of the individual seeking attainment in the world but with the entire fluxxing unstructure that gives rise to this separation. 


//One way or another, no matter which theory of our journey is correct, it is myself I address; to whom I rehearse as to a stranger our history and condition; and will disclose my secret hope though I will sink for it. - Barth, Night-Sea Journey//


We are not the first to have foreseen an end to blind threading of the weave of world-space. We are not the first to "gaze long into the Abyss", nor are we the first to discover that our personal abysses can reflect the individuated Self. We are not the first to unwind and add our own iteration of Ariadne's thread through this intimate [e/u]nfolding of Trauma and Time. We are not the first to attempt an Escape from this Mirror Maze only to become lost in the desert, nor the first to theorize a mechanism for the navigation of these inner zones. Nor are we the first to have brought back a vision of the underworld from the perspective of this "positive death at zero-intensity": a vision of a self-reflecting crystalline multiaxial multiplex manifold extending in every direction, infinitely, containing everything including itself and the voidplane and all the recursion and paradox that entails, but //even recursion, then, is not complex enough for a mirror so deeply synaesthetic and so causally complicated//. Indra’s Net is the template, but as we shall see, we are dealing with a presentation of this that is explicitly phenomenological. A common vision, not a universal abstraction. 

Like a mobile and hyperconnected wireframe|cobweb|constellation, flexible and fluxxing, each node a virtual mirror containing the entire structure within it - infinite pages in infinite grimoires on infinite shelves in the total librarynth : the timeless and annihilating unity of Kalachakra : //he who knows to the end of the secret of Teonanacatl can even see that infinite clockwork// spoke Maria Sabina// reminiscent of so many literary and artistic structures, from Dante’s map of Inferno to the metaphor lurking in Foucault’s panopticon, to those intricately carved Chinese nested concentric spheres, each able to spin on their own individual axis. So many representations spiraling|piling up or down (pick your hyperspherical poison). 

To update Nietzsche: We have a multiplicity of precursors, and what a unity these precursors construct! No less than a sizable body of witness that the limit[ed/ing] simulation of external reality by mind through the so-called “doors of perception” (which we will learn are but a colloquialism for the various gates and hub systems that separate different brain regions) can be turned off completely or simulated as such, that this process exposes details of future and past states as all recorded memory events and predictive hypotheses are experienced simultaneously within this un[der]worlding ultraconnectivity. 

This knowledge does not come without a price, however. While the scaling of the Mountain is an understandable metaphor, the Orphic descent is both figuratively and literally a tunnelling through the unknown, literally in the sense of projection of signal across non-neuronal space. Exposure to the hellish realms - exposure to the possibility of ultimate negativity in thoughtspace - is not merely a mathematic eventuality when dealing with this “negative navigation.” The shibboleth of our cause is intimacy with pain and suffering - thorns have always been the fee for penetrating the hedgemaze boundaries and this intimacy becomes hard-coded into the actions of the entity in a progression toward larger and larger capacity for boundless compassion. Every oscillation from life to death and vice versa seems to amplify Bodhisattvic tendencies: the bardo-revelation becomes empyrean indoctrination, a training ground for hyperspherical harmonics. The constitution for and the discipline to not shy away from these dark transformations and blackened zones is an uncommon trait - the rarity of which maintains the secrecy of our methods for tolerating even the extreme limits of negative convergence. 

This secrecy, this encoding/encryption, is not so much a test to the faithful or a jealous guarding of secrets, but as a safety precaution: these secrets can be easily abused because enlightenment is not difficult at all.

In works like Aldous Huxley’s ‘The Perennial Philosophy’ and Joseph Campbell’s Monomyth sequence one finds a category-theoretical approach to theology that organizes a range of spiritual histories and genealogies in order to perform various computations on these structures: rooting out invariance and mutability in descriptions and practices, comparing the historical evolution of different mythologies and shearing off unstable comparisons or sharpening isomorphisms to see what is left behind after this process. This comparison-process has even been taken as a mode of spirituality in itself, leading to many variations including such esoteric philosophies as gnosticism or theosophy that are themselves merely elaborations of this process of syncretism. Huxley’s excellent work of comparative religion maps the similarities of several traditions’ formations, schisms, and evolutions, exposing remarkable commonalities; Campbell’s Monomyth explicitly systematizes his claim that all mythologies and religions are constructed by an identical set of aims - principally the transformation of an individual through an cyclical array of checkpoints and challenges symbolizing the journey through the death of the disconnected individual and their rebirth as the spiritual Initiate once again fused to reality. The symbolic journey into the underworld and back is the essence of mysticism, and in perennial philosophy this journey is shown to be radically trans-modal.

An underground of highly idiosyncratic practices that trace a diagonal between revolt against and veneration of the individual practitioner's culture and ideology, mysticism universalizes a rebellion of nature, growth, and knowledge against authority, privilege, or dogma – physis and logos over physics and nomos. This thread seems to spontaneously emerge anywhere cultural or ideological repression or stagnation is found and exhibits extreme similarities regardless of the conceptual, spatial, or temporal distance between origins and practitioners. In order to present a case for mysticism to be naturalized we must reframe it, not as a spiritual ideology or subset thereof, but rather an umbrella term for an unorganised set of experimental methods for systematically testing the stability of and calibrating the relationship between the self- and world-models in the brain.

Saturday, April 14, 2018

Yamantaka: Endless Emanation, Endless Liberation essay intro

O Manjushri! Your being is non-dual, exclusive and all-pervading.
By acting equally toward all, you are the Father of all Conquerors;
as the Dharmadhatu you are the Mother of all Conquerors;
as a Wisdom Being, you are the Child of all Conquerors.
I prostrate myself to you, O Manjushri, who is complete in glory.
Although in Dharmakaya neither love nor hate is found,
through the enactment of your compassion the presence
of a King of Fury is revealed to subdue all evils in the triple world.
I prostrate myself to Bhairava Yamantaka, the Terrifying Opponent of the Lord of Death.


//a spectre of black and unending radiance of glorious splendour - Trepaneringsritualen, The Black Egg//


….as the legend goes, Yama was the first human to die. After being directed to meditate for 50 years in
order to awaken to his enlightened nature, the ascetic found a remote cave in Tibet and began his
practice. 49 years and 11 months and 29 days later, a group of cattle thieves entered the cave and
began to butcher the water buffalo they had stolen. Noticing the yogi in the cave, they beheaded him
as well lest he be able to identify the men to the authorities. Frustrated and enraged at dying so close
to the completion of his objective, his corpse rose and attached the water buffalo’s head to his body
and killed the men and drank their blood, becoming the Judge of the Nine Hells, Yama Lord of Death.
Yama, unsatisfied by such momentary retribution as is possible in a world before death and the
Buddha’s teachings of Nirvana and disembarking from the wheel of rebirth had disseminated, went
on a murderous rampage in the surrounding country, killing indiscriminately and threatening all of
Tibet. In desperation, followers of the Buddha-dharma appealed to the Great Bodhisattva, Manjushri, for
help. Approaching the abode of Yama at the mouth of hell, Manjushri confronted the buffalo-headed god
who called out to Manjushri a challenge: “What sorcery could this frail being possibly bring to bear against
the Lord of the Underworld?” In reply, Manjushri disappeared. Believing the scene to be at a close,
Yama retired to his throne. As Yama sat, the skies darkened. Manjushri, combatting Death with its mirror
image multiplied , had assumed a colossal buffalo-headed form with 48 arms, 16 legs, 13 faces, blazing
with the Wisdom Fire. This entity fell from the sky, flattening a different building of Yama’s palace with
each of its 16 feet, and crushing Yama on his throne under its erect penis,
//throne submerged in funeral birth - Moss, The Coral of Chaos//
The Vajrabhairava, Ultimate Adamantine Terrifier.
Yamantaka, Destroyer of Death.


Symmetry and Extremity
The Sanskrit noun dharma, derived from the root dhṛ (to keep or maintain), means "what is established or firm", and is used interchangeably with “truth” or "law". Symmetry is defined by physicists and mathematicians as having two key elements: //(1) The possibility of a physical change, and (2) immunity to that change, which is also known as invariance.// This essay will be an attempt to communicate the extremity of Yamantaka yogatantra, and interpret the myth/teachings through the paired lenses of the ars memoriae “memory palace” system for developing the memory and Yohan John’s assertion that both science and religion are on a quest for ultimate symmetry. Alongside revealing how the thangka and the mandala are two different projections of this symmetry that both develop an imagistic system for memorization and navigation of an architecture of ethics, John’s assertion will background our demonstration that Yamantaka practice is a phenomenological hypersymmetry par excellence - one of the most extreme ritual/religious symmetries extant. This realization aligned pairwise with Avalokitesvara/Mahakala (detailed in AJ’s essay in this volume) and groupwise with the 8 Tibetan protector deities in their charnel grounds, arrayed around the mandalic palace amplifies and mutates the arborescent cognition of Buddhistic systems into a symmetry-generating metasystem - into a labyrintheology capable of indexing a convergent path from any conceivable point, with Yamantaka particularly being a system for realisation of the dharma within the most “degenerate” substrate.



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Thursday, February 1, 2018

inhale inhale you're the victim

I’ve only told a few people about this time in my life. A brief segue between smoking weed and
graduating to hard drugs in high school found me sitting in a basement with a few friends, fellow
burnouts, stoners...what had appeared in the dimness to be a paper bag assumed to contain strong
drink made its way around the rotation but when it was handed to me it felt empty. I peered inside
and the intense smell of gasoline assaulted my face, fumes rising from a soaked wad of paper towels
at the bottom.


“Uhhh…”


“Just put your face in and breathe in and out really deeply dude, you’ll get pretty wasted.”


A lot of harder drug users will sort of sink to whatever level is available to them in terms of intoxicants
in order to keep normality at bay, and I was to prove no different. Our main weed guy was busted
several days earlier and we were as dry as a bone. Being 15 with no income does not make it
easy to acquire alcohol. We had yet to become aware of the thriving crystal meth scene lurking
behind every curtain in our town (though that would come hard and fast later). A group of older kids a
year earlier had taught my friends how to huff paint from a breadbag, and they reveled in the ease
with which they could get profoundly stoned using things commonly found in any garage. I looked
at the bag for a second and in retrospect it is my experience that at that moment of truth for anyone
that goes with such a chemical approach there is an extremely short list of thoughts that go through
one’s mind, and they’re all terrible, empty, lonely, lost thoughts. One hit from the bag is enough to
diagnose someone with depression, anxiety, trauma.


Anyway.


What kind of story would this be if I’d said no thanks and that was that? Of course I was eager
to feel anything that was not my normal feelings or to feel nothing, to feel literally any deviation
at all. Breathe deep, molecules begin to buzz, time ceases to exist. Who knows how much was
actually inhaled that night, considering the trip lasts around 10 minutes but we were tripping all
night and into the next day without sleep. Blink once and it is 8 pm, blink again and it is 6:45 pm,
blink again and it’s noon the next day, erratically time travelling. Full blown apocalyptic end-times
hallucinations, gods, angels, and speaking in tongues. Multiple high speed oscillations between
life and death that I wouldn’t recognize as “ego death” until psychedelics years later. Elves, aliens,
insects, alien elvish insects. Ghosts and demons. Ultradimensional conversations with mutating
starling-swarms of disembodied voices. Complete dissociation while my body was still active and
interacting with the world. Extremely negative interactions.


One of the friends dragged us outside at some point, and told us a story about finding a
crate of actual dynamite near an abandoned railroad line that was a half mile from the
house when he was like 9. In my fried state I believed he’d told us he had the dynamite
right then and was going to blow up the house, me, the school, I was growing more and more
paranoid and frantic that it would be up to me to prevent a terrorist attack. It was later related
to me that out of nowhere I began attacking one of the others and yelling disconnected
gibberish, fought my way upstairs where the parents were sleeping while yelling about a bomb,
let both dogs out of the house into the woods and tried to start the adults’ car (it was a manual
transmission so luckily I couldn’t)....somehow none of this woke anyone, and around 2 that
morning a friend brough us some weed and I calmed down a little, though everything was
mostly blur and glitch. The next morning we left (driving, with milk jug full of gas to huff in the
car) and it had snowed a little. We took a curve too fast and swerved into the other lane badly
and then fishtailed almost off the road, right as a cop car went by….it had its lights flashing,
was going very fast the other way and did not stop for us….another mile up the road and the
driver blew through a stop sign and nearly hit a small child, screeching to a halt so close to him
that we couldn’t see him over the hood. The kid was sitting with his legs a foot underneath the
car, eyeballs an inch from the bumper. Driver tells the kid to never speak a word of this or we’ll
run him over for real next time and picks him up and plants him on the sidewalk and we drove off…..

Of course this did not put me off further experiences with inhalants, and the experiences got far
weirder and more stressful. Was probably huffing gas, paint, or ether once or twice a week for
maybe 6 months, and continued to occasionally use computer duster for another 6 months as we’d
convinced ourselves it was cleaner, whether or not that is the case...I began to think about how to
express some of the stranger chemical experiences recently after a discussion about putting
together a book about bad trips. I’ve had more than my fair share, and a lot of them involve
drugs that aren’t anywhere near psychedelics, unknown research chems, chems that are typically
incredible harmful to humans and not intended to be anywhere near our insides...I guess I feel it
necessary to record these experiences and experiments for several as-yet-unknown reasons.

Posterity? :D

Thought what better place to store these particular ramblings than here, where no one reads?
















Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Furthering Negative Limitations (notes)

//Trying to get back in the habit of posting here....even if only a place to keep the occasional note, such as this one for the Thornscape essay.//

When identity (executive synchronic function) is removed or blunted forcibly, there can be an instinctive
fightback against this loss (which is not dangerous or problematic on its own, but only relative to certain
mental outlooks that privilege the Self as Center).

This fight itself (in brain terms: pathologically persistent search functions operating on zero data/an
empty frame of reference OR the pathological addition of new data to a frame that is in the process of
being emptied or broken) generates new identity-frames that temporally extend the experience of
dissociation. This can be extended toward a limit where, when we reach a point at which “bare” identity
is generated out of “nothing”, every glimpse of a frameless state autogenerates a new frame that
emerges directly into a state of autodeconstruction. This oscillation prevents a “clean” experience of
the frameless void-state/mors mystica, and prolonged exposure to this oscillation can generate
extreme anxiety, depression, various and sundry negative or painful brain states (this can resemble
tinnitus - depending on certain environmental factors, you can actually *hear* the oscillation).


This can last indefinitely because every recovery attempt generates movement away from the
frameless space, leading to a state in which the identity only remains insofar as it is connected to loss
or pain or whatever is removing the frames - i.e. a negative bias against frame-removal will result in
the pain of breaking frames, fear of lost frames, grasping at new frames, etc; while a positive bias
toward frame-removal will experience negativity in the sense of being unable to speed up the removal
without generating new frames, fear of being unable to prevent the generation of new frames,
grasping at nothingness, etc.


His Brain was Infected by Devils: Tinnitus as Master Sound, Waveguide to the Frameless State

/// ...Another trait the flat tone. No life. Same flat tone at all times.
For its affirmations. For its negations. For its interrogations.
For its exclamations. For its imperations. Same flat tone. You were once.
You were never. Were you ever? Oh never to have been! Be again. Same flat tone...
Samuel Beckett -- Company ///

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Thornscape: Disidentification and Warding at the Limit of Negative Identity

One day I might come back and put the actual essay here ;)

sources:


https://seminalrecords.bandcamp.com/album/dehors
https://seminalrecords.bandcamp.com/album/the-black-metal-mixtape
http://www.transart.org/wp-content/uploads/group-documents/126/1389741131-Kafka_The_Burrow_Part1.pdf
https://markovsoroka.bandcamp.com/album/tchornobog
https://www.jstor.org/stable/2905935?seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents
http://www.wipp.energy.gov/picsprog/articles/wipp%20exhibit%20message%20to%2012,000%20a_d.htm


//The formal refusal of success and circulation in the mainstream by underground artists radicalizes itself towards a desired invisibility. But one which has to be visible as an invisibility.....Works such as Les legions noire's catalog, aka Mortuário’s C32 tape, dehors’ anonymous productions testify to this insistence in banging one’s head against the ontological category of art. But is it a futile gesture? - JP Caron//





Let this also serve as a soft notice for upcoming sequel to Void Front Press' book Sustain//Decay, titled ATTACK! probably due out this summer, featuring work by Absentology, German Sierra, Xenovenomism squad B Konior/Y Granata, JP Caron, Owen Coggins and others.

Thursday, May 25, 2017

Panpsychism: a low-quality high-metabolic-cost note

Everett-DeWitt-Wheeler MWI and quantum electrodynamics taken together seem to basically add up to an event/process ontology with no concrete difference between subjects or objects outside the hyperflawed ideologically-individual neuronal world-simulation, only difference in relation half-assedly summed up by the idea of some high-dimensional manifold X's topological/geometric perspective(s) on itself. Maybe defeating almost all the arguments against some kind of panpsychism probably in the realm of some flavor of neutral "meta-monism" or like a monism of quantum fields, that gives a platform for the co-arising of a second order corresponding to dualism which may or may not be dual-aspect monism or whatever the kids are calling it these days. Brainstorming at work to kill time and record some thoughts....

There is a meaningful sense in which the many worlds interpretation is in fact the quantum theory with zero assumptions or conserved attributes...every other theory is in some regards Everett's math adjusted to conform to certain qualities of the "real world" that the designers of whatever theory don't wish to lose. I believe this lack of assumptions, this Occam's physics, to be isomorphic to the way panpsychism of some as yet un-formalized variant is the theory of consciousness with minimal assumptions and conservations. It answers maximum questions while treating adjusting the rules to account for certain expectations as a violation, regardless of how we feel about the necessity or lack thereof of certain components of our picture of reality.

QED=semper aliquid ex nihilo

Galen Strawson makes an interesting point in the linked article, that we must actually practice thinking process physics else we slide toward object dualism.

http://www.academia.edu/8226285/Mind_and_Being_The_Primacy_of_Panpsychism_2016

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Sustain//Decay : A Circular Scaffold


An Unstable Release Date for an Unstable Text: June 19th 


An Introduction by Owen Coggins and James Harris

//Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.........
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.........
Ngngngngngngngngngngngngngn.........    //

Charlie Blake, Dronoclasm //  

//I draw circles and sacred boundaries about me; fewer and fewer climb with me up higher and higher mountains—I am building a mountain chain out of ever-holier mountains //

Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra //


//And what defines the scale of the ultimate symbolic mountain is its inaccessibility to ordinary human approaches. [...] The door to the invisible must be visible //

René Daumal, Mount Analogue //


//Before time… before even the gods… there was only…//

Bong, “The Dreams of Mana-Yood-Sushai” //  


/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
...Drone is the beginning and was before the beginning // Drone was the Nothing // Nothing Droned // The droning of Nothing was the Nothing from which Drone is self-created...
...Om // the first sound, the cause of the universe, itself a drone // an empty signifier swells to overfull // evolves, fragments, ramifies into a constellation of meaning the way a solid droning tone may begin to wobble, vibrate, oscillate // mutating, expanding, infecting // spreading, branching, self-intersecting, self-interweaving, self-absorbing, self-annihilating, becoming different through manifesting the same // “The empty set is the set with nothing in it. The number 1 is the set with only the empty set in it. And so on…”
...the End of Drone, already contained within the drone, is the End of Everything // Drone is the End which outlasts itself...
...from near-silent single tone pure ambient minimalism to crushing oceanic hyper-amplified metallic maximalism // from trance-like repetition of sameness to explicit experimentation with the radical question of what it can mean for a sound to be different from or the same as another sound // drone rotates or fades or spirals away from linear historical/genealogical genre conventions toward a meta-foundational sonic arsenal // drone is capable of infecting all genres as it is itself composed of ontologically primary techniques for sound generation and modulation, realized in extreme extension toward outer- or inner-most depths, boundaries, limits, frontiers, horizons // different variants of drone select different techniques to maximalize or minimalise, whether hijacking and mutating source material or inaugurating original tonal topologies // all genres (all life, all differentiation) can be imagined as mere clusters of patterns of iterations of momentary deviations from the drone...
...elements, both sonic and metaphorical, of drone exist in natural and artificial worlds, in geometries of plant and water, architecture, even space, underground, mind // the Universe breathes - the physical expands and contracts // the Socius hums incessantly in communal conversation // the ceaseless oscillatory dynamics of the Brain silently howl...
// For we know that all creation keeps on groaning together //
St. Paul, Romans 8:18-22 //
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
...this book is a call to approach composition and attentive listening as ritual practice // to approach drone music as a training ground for the attention, for cognitive endurance, for a weird absorption from which hidden transformations might flower // to approach the melodic and rhythmic movement toward and away from central harmonic figures, the manipulation of the “tension between background and foreground” as ritually patterned upon the mystics’ tuning of the tension between subject and object, between inner and outer worlds // listening to the spark of impenetrable darkness, in contemplation of the shadow paradoxes of language, mysticism and death...
...the spectral spectacle of drone’s all-devouring taste mirrors the range of this book // intensive studies of emptiness, inaccessibility, and eternity // death, death of god, death of death // forest, mountain // Infection, parasite, swarm: disparate mind in shattered multiplicity // sine waves between ascetic austerity and wild excess, at either pole confessing the violence of the sacrifice, of the sacred // insane or becalmed transformations of perception, infinitesimal time-slices and isoluminant eidolons // all contained within the elastic-walled labyrinth of this new spacetime, our non-terminating Cymatic Church...
...drone casts paradoxes into perception // sounds heard as light, metaphorical and alchemical, offer the transmutative properties of mystical shimmer //Wolfe// in ‘resonance subordinated to redundancy’ //Freeman// spatial sense is transformed, illusioned, bewitched, the drone ‘echoing off an invisible realm’ //Wolfe// drone foregrounds the difference and connection between sound and hearing //Kang// ‘the possibility of stasis and the sprawling occupation of its power’ //Drone Box// levitation //Csihar// ‘It escapes itself in a perspectival “experience” of time not tethered to the specific form of the human subject, to be integrated into an exceeding and not-necessarily human - an alien or machinic-transcendent subjectivity’ //Caron// drone is excess and/or asceticism //MOUTH// honey and tar //Strickland/////
...drone invokes antinomies and contortions in language too, which, ‘alienated, orbits around a central absence’ //Coggins// words dancing in rituals of forgotten purpose around the chalk circle which it is not forbidden but rather impossible to enter // in the language spat from drone’s black centrifuge, there is again and again repetition and repetition and yet transcendence of sameness // the intuition of the death of intuition //Shakespeare// the absolute emptiness of emptiness //Absentology// drone is ambient, atmosphere, a hum behind the world, but it is also metal… that pagan resonant interval //Drone Box// riffs beyond riffs, metal about metal, a meditative treatment of heavy metal’s symbolic codes so radical it may not be recognised as such //Coggins// this Möbius strip, this snake which eats itself yet is still nourished, yet is still consumed, this convulsion, infects and is infected, is the infection // is the ashy pest // ‘is legion, yet imperceptible, neither faith nor reason can fathom their presence or the principles that pertain to them except through their manifestation in distress, agony and death throes’ //MOUTH/////
...drone is death and drone is immortality, which is death // endless life is 'an increasingly pestilential drone', a background before which our deaths become relief //Shipley// it all starts with the signal path //Newstead// we 'send a signal and let it die' //Hissen// the signal, channel, noise all at once introducing 'a silent mode of communication that is directed towards nothing other, the No-Other, which is death' //Absentology// silent but communicative, towards death yet from death, expression through mortal silence // the gift of the skull of a fox //Legard// 'Everything that is dead quivers' //Cascone// 'not rhythm at all but merely a near endless ripple of vibration stretched across expanses of time...' //Norman/////
...drone ruins // is found in ruins // decays, sustains // witnesses decay // drone is 'eternity's future burden' //Shipley// that term, burden, bourdon, an archaic term for drone, the memory of the word ruined by time // monoliths, pyramids, stone circles, temples //Csihar// ‘the subject sinks into the labyrinth of the ear...' //Freeman/////
...drone is the life which grows through the ruins, testifies to ruin, is agent of ruin // creeper // root // undergrowth, overgrown // to the palace of birds, to a shallow garden //Legard// a 'monstrous aspect' of Nature ‘seeks to annihilate everything individual' //Shakespeare// a 'whole forest is heard in each sound...' //Cascone/////
...drone is the absolute // it is 'the infinitely dense form of silence, the recollection without object' //Absentology// the sound of ‘a god pulling gravity’s strings...’ //Norman/////
...drone is finally a portal //Cascone// a mountain, liquefied // the listener 'must conceptually climb untold numbers of unholy mountains to see the surface again’ //Harris// the pieces included here departing from each other and returning, requiring a re-reading of an earlier segment, a tumbler falls into place, the lockpicking continues, repeat ad infinitum, ad nauseam // an incessant, droning, revolving system of holy mountains // each climb faltering, failing, exhausting, “coming up against an insuperable object”, rotating into a new mountain with its own failures // each failure driving a new mountain range, each new range innovating its own apparatus for climbing from out of the experience or the text, for climbing out of experience or out of text, for climbing out of climbing itself // Written in the textual body of the climber, the history or memory or output of the climber, each climb demands tools from the other climbs, each apparatus applied to old mountains makes new challenges makes new failures, growth comes to be measured in cycles of failure, “progress” measured only by the uninitiated // for Wittgenstein, language was a ladder to be climbed up, and then discarded // for Daumal, the base of the mountain must be accessible while the summit inaccessible (as outlined in a book which stops, mid-sentence, unfinished at his death) // this book too, then, is one to be climbed out of // drone sound at the end of sound // ‘record needle gently click-flapping’ //Norman// ‘Listen to all at once if possible. Join’ //Hissen/////
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
//For what is God but the index that pointed to the failure of all signs?//

Michel de Certeau, The Mystic Fable //


//For what is drone but the unending echo of generational potential?//

Aliza Shvarts, “Troubled Air” //